Inside Jokes and Late Goodbyes


This must have been a dream because I can’t remember how it began, the details of the ending are hazy, but I remember everything in between. What followed waking was rebuilding, reconstructing, retracing, recovering. You and I recanting – all that was said and done before.

I was sewn back, not in a hurry, and yet threads of you embroidered themselves into me. Your dust got caught in the bricks that remade me, your voice trapped in these crooked crevices, reminding me to look for you. And so I do even a world away.

I look at every passing bus, to see if it’s your face in the window reading comics at the back of the paper. And every time somebody orders a steak well done, a smile rises to my lips, the resurfacing of an inside joke that once was – your penchant for rich food, and mine for poor puns. I look under coffee mugs, behind polished oakwood doors, waiting for you to spring at me, for the thrill of a fear anticipated. But I’ve lost the fragment of that sorrow, the piercing I felt when it was new.

When did I become so audacious, rushing to the edges of sharp cliffs? It is you who taught me to fearlessly jump. You became the air around me that scraped my skin as I fell, holding me, cradling me, even as I bled. Through those cuts and bruises, you entered and remained, like fragrance in my hair, revealing itself every time I moved. You permeated the notes of a lullaby. The one with the mockingbird.

The mockingbird…

…mocking me in turn.

Image Source: Shutterstock


5 thoughts on “Inside Jokes and Late Goodbyes

  1. Sid Balachandran September 14, 2017 / 6:38 AM

    Damn! How do you write like this…so beautifully and mesmerising-ly intense!
    You need to give the rest of us courses on using the right metaphors in the right place. So much awe, Sreesha! ❤️


  2. Sanch @ Sanch Writes September 15, 2017 / 4:04 PM

    I want to be in your head! How do you do this?!!! It’s so achingly beautiful — the metaphors, the words, the visuals — all of it. I am so envious and in awe of your writing. Much love! ❤


  3. Varsh September 15, 2017 / 10:33 PM

    Oh my! This is my first time on your blog and I’m speechless. This is so so beautiful. The expression. The use of words. Simply, wow!


  4. Soumya Prasad September 19, 2017 / 5:49 PM

    Okay, for once I do agree with Sid! How do you write so beautifully? The flow, the metaphors, so disconnected yet coming together so beautifully. You are like Robin Williams for me. To get this, go watch ‘Dead Poet’s Society’.


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