As the hours passed, I began to grow afraid – that you would hurt yourself and there would be no one to help. Panicking, I called you what felt like a hundred times, and each time it rang, the heavy riff of that Zeppelin song, your ringtone that I hated so much, played in my mind as if you were sitting in the next room.
People turned into habits – habits you could not break. Like opium. Opium destroys us because of our need for it. It leads us to wreck ourselves and each other. Much like love.
Or so I believed. It was another demon I carried within me – one that raised its ugly head at that moment and made me disconnect from you in an instant.
At first I thought you were joking. I thought you were as against marriage as I was and that you would never change your mind.
I could say none of this to you. I couldn’t hurt you nor could I explain. With that one question, you broke something – like the hand of a clock. The balance was lost, the ticking was off. So I made excuses. I lied. For the first time since we’d been together.
Ironic, isn’t it, how we think a lie is less hurtful than the truth? Even when the damages last longer? Foolish, really.
But that’s what I did, right before I walked out your door, your life, stomping on all the dreams you had built for us.
Maybe you were right; the man had jinxed us after all. I adopted your superstition and made it mine. Things go wrong when they’ve been going right for a while.
I didn’t believe even for a second that you would ever forgive me. But I kept trying. That song was what filled my nightmares. My nightmares of a call that was never answered. My nightmares of how I butchered what we had – the one thing that had felt right in a world that was forever wrong.
That Zeppelin song played on loop for one year, seven months and twenty six nights.
Hi everyone! I’m working on a minimalist fiction project for this year’s #AtoZChallenge. The story will be shared in snippets, and the events occur non-sequentially. It is for the reader to interpret and form the “whole”. You can read all the posts here. Join me, and do share links to your AtoZ posts as well!