Adolescence is a hard time to be alive. In my teen years, I knew at least four people who were convinced they were unloved and unwanted. Reality, for most high-schoolers, is a bubble of depression. If you pick up a newspaper, or even a Chicken Soup, you’ll know what an alarming number of teens commit or attempt suicide.
I also went through bouts of feeling unwanted, and have cried into pillows at night. That behaviour had been unfamiliar to me, but what happened with a friend I once called my “best friend” is what tipped me over the edge of teenage sanity.
For the longest time, she and I had been “Us against the world.” Then she developed a crush on this guy, another classmate. I tried to help out, in the way you help out a crushstruck friend– delivering anonymous notes and all that. Wonder of wonders when the guy reciprocated. I was happy for her, couldn’t be anything less.
But the aforementioned crush had a problem with me. Don’t know why; frankly, never cared either. But it affected our friendship. I don’t know if she did it consciously, but she was “removing” me from her life. Knowing I was no longer wanted, I took a step back. I stopped talking to her. Something petty I did was returning all the presents she had ever given me. Everyone in class wanted to know what went wrong between us (our friendship was, you could say, famous). There were people discussing rights and wrongs, others (even teachers) trying to bring about reconciliation.
On my birthday that year, she still gave me a present. Of all the presents I received that year, hers was my favourite. It was a snowglobe; inside it, was a clown attempting a somersault. That was the first time I had seen a snowglobe; it fascinated me! I told her she shouldn’t have. She smiled. Attempts to reconcile the two of us were still on, but while she was cordial, her stance on the matter hadn’t altered – it was either him or me.
Looking back now, I don’t regret her ending our friendship. She is married to him now; I am happy for her. I still have the snowglobe – it’s in my mother’s house. I keep it as a reminder – of many things:
- Nothing lasts forever. Sometimes friendships end. Even if it has never happened to you, there could be a first time. Cherish the good times.
- Unless you come out of the shade, you can’t enjoy the sunshine – I got to know some of my wonderful classmates only after I came out of the shade of our friendship.
- Adolescence is a turbulent time. To any and all teens reading this, don’t worry, it’ll get better.
- It heals. You move on.
- If your crush is dictating who should and who shouldn’t be in your life for them to be in your life, well, if I were you, I’d rethink.
Written for #Cherished blogfest