The Wound Teaches You To Heal [#Cherished Blogfest]

Adolescence is a hard time to be alive. In my teen years, I knew at least four people who were convinced they were unloved and unwanted. Reality, for most high-schoolers, is a bubble of depression. If you pick up a newspaper, or even a Chicken Soup, you’ll know what an alarming number of teens commit or attempt suicide.
I also went through bouts of feeling unwanted, and have cried into pillows at night. That behaviour had been unfamiliar to me, but what happened with a friend I once called my “best friend” is what tipped me over the edge of teenage sanity.
For the longest time, she and I had been “Us against the world.” Then she developed a crush on this guy, another classmate. I tried to help out, in the way you help out a crushstruck friend– delivering anonymous notes and all that. Wonder of wonders when the guy reciprocated. I was happy for her, couldn’t be anything less.
But the aforementioned crush had a problem with me. Don’t know why; frankly, never cared either. But it affected our friendship. I don’t know if she did it consciously, but she was “removing” me from her life. Knowing I was no longer wanted, I took a step back. I stopped talking to her. Something petty I did was returning all the presents she had ever given me.  Everyone in class wanted to know what went wrong between us (our friendship was, you could say, famous). There were people discussing rights and wrongs, others (even teachers) trying to bring about reconciliation.
On my birthday that year, she still gave me a present. Of all the presents I received that year, hers was my favourite. It was a snowglobe; inside it, was a clown attempting a somersault. That was the first time I had seen a snowglobe; it fascinated me! I told her she shouldn’t have. She smiled. Attempts to reconcile the two of us were still on, but while she was cordial, her stance on the matter hadn’t altered – it was either him or me.
Looking back now, I don’t regret her ending our friendship. She is married to him now; I am happy for her. I still have the snowglobe – it’s in my mother’s house. I keep it as a reminder – of many things:
  1. Nothing lasts forever. Sometimes friendships end. Even if it has never happened to you, there could be a first time. Cherish the good times.
  2. Unless you come out of the shade, you can’t enjoy the sunshine – I got to know some of my wonderful classmates only after I came out of the shade of our friendship.
  3. Adolescence is a turbulent time. To any and all teens reading this, don’t worry, it’ll get better.
  4. It heals. You move on.
  5. If your crush is dictating who should and who shouldn’t be in your life for them to be in your life, well, if I were you, I’d rethink.
 
 
 
 
 
 

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34 thoughts on “The Wound Teaches You To Heal [#Cherished Blogfest]

  1. the little princess July 24, 2015 / 4:39 AM

    that's so sad…why should one have to choose between two people? I mean, if you get married, you don't choose between your parents and husband, na? then why in friendship? but all said, no experience is ever bad, it always teaches you something. good that you learnt yours.

    Like

  2. realmofmywords July 24, 2015 / 5:52 AM

    Oh that's sad! Teenage makes us do strange things isn't it???

    Like

  3. Sreesha Divakaran July 24, 2015 / 6:35 AM

    I truly hope he didn't ask her to choose between him and her parents!
    Yup, every experience is a learning experience.

    Like

  4. Debbie D. July 24, 2015 / 12:34 PM

    That's too bad about the friendship. 😦 Doesn't say much for the character of that guy (or your friend either)!
    At least you have a keepsake of what was once a good relationship.

    Like

  5. Parul July 24, 2015 / 6:12 PM

    That was sad that she had to choose between two important people in her life. (At least I would say so).
    But I do see why you cherish that Snowglobe.

    Like

  6. damyantiwrites July 25, 2015 / 3:15 AM

    Thank you for participating in the Cherished Blogfest.

    Wonderful lessons taken from what must have been a really hard time in your life. It is true– everything ends, even friendship– but everyone we meet is a teacher, they teach us stuff we need to learn, and then we each move our own ways.

    Like

  7. The Glitter Aficionado July 25, 2015 / 3:33 AM

    Ahhh, crushes and choices. Though the friendship didn't continue, it's sweet how you love the snow globe for the memory of the relationship. 🙂

    Like

  8. The Glitter Aficionado July 25, 2015 / 3:34 AM

    That sucks that the friendship didn't last, but crushes and choices…So sweet that you cherish her present though. 🙂

    Like

  9. Dan July 25, 2015 / 12:40 PM

    It's interesting to see a cherished object associated with a sad memory but you have taken the best from your friendship and that says a lot about you. I am glad to hear that you kept the snowglobe and very glad that you decided to share it as part of the cherished blogfest. Thank you for participating.

    Like

  10. Sreesha Divakaran July 25, 2015 / 3:52 PM

    That's true, Debbie – it was a great friendship while it lasted! As for their character – we live and learn, don't we! 🙂

    Like

  11. Sreesha Divakaran July 25, 2015 / 3:53 PM

    What's sad is the ease with which she chose whom to discard 😦
    Oh well, it's all a part of life! 🙂

    Like

  12. Sreesha Divakaran July 25, 2015 / 3:57 PM

    It was a hard time, but in a way I'm glad it happened. It was perhaps the first time I got out of my comfort zone and interacted with others – discovered some great people that way!

    Like

  13. Sreesha Divakaran July 25, 2015 / 3:58 PM

    Young love and its troubles! 🙂
    Yeah, it was a great friendship while it lasted 🙂

    Like

  14. Sreesha Divakaran July 25, 2015 / 4:08 PM

    Thanks a lot, Dan. I know it's probably unconventional to “cherish” something associated with hard times. But I valued her friendship – we grew up together. Her gifting it to me even after the friendship ended was sweet, and I am grateful for that.
    Thanks for reading! 🙂

    Like

  15. Aditi July 25, 2015 / 9:02 PM

    Ah! Teenage years are rough but a broken friendship is indeed sad! Beautifully written and totally agree with your last point!

    Like

  16. Sreesha Divakaran July 27, 2015 / 8:31 AM

    It was. But it was good that it happened. Eventually you learn how to cope, and you emerge stronger and better out of it.
    Thanks for reading, Aditi! 🙂

    Like

  17. ccyager July 28, 2015 / 7:30 PM

    Your heart is bigger for having experienced this friendship and its loss. I love the snowglobe — what a unique gift. I have been fascinated by how some people stay in my life forever while others flow in and out. There must be a reason, a purpose, to experiencing these different people in different ways, and they of me. Thank you for sharing for Cherished Blogfest! Cinda

    Like

  18. Madilyn Quinn July 28, 2015 / 9:39 PM

    That's unfortunate your friend let someone dictate who she can and cannot talk/hang out with. Doesn't sound very healthy, but that's just me. Growing up I had a very close friend and I experienced that stepping out of the shade of our friendship. We fell apart for different reasons, but no longer being her best friend made me realize how… unfriendly our friendship really was. And then you move on. *shrug*

    Like

  19. Sreesha Divakaran July 29, 2015 / 7:31 AM

    Yes, there's always a reason. Everyone we meet has a story, and I think we are supposed to be a part of that story for a bit.
    Thanks for reading!

    Like

  20. Sreesha Divakaran July 29, 2015 / 7:32 AM

    Yeah, and now they're married! I just don't believe it! It is unhealthy, really.

    Yup, we all move on. It's a good experience either way.

    Like

  21. Indrani August 4, 2015 / 12:30 PM

    Very strange behavior!
    But then good you stepped out of the shade of that friendship. 🙂

    Like

  22. Anjali Sengar August 5, 2015 / 4:23 AM

    So true Shreesha.. Sometimes we do regret for what we have done in past but that past mistake is also a lesson for us 🙂

    Like

  23. Roohi Bhatnagar August 5, 2015 / 12:51 PM

    I just hope your friend is happy with that guy. She loved you that's why she gave you such a sweet present even though she couldn't take a strong stand on your friendship. May God Bless her and the guy with wisdom.

    Like

  24. Sreesha Divakaran August 6, 2015 / 5:30 AM

    Well, truthfully, I don't have any regrets. I learnt what I had to 🙂 I hope she doesn't have any regrets either.

    Like

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