Naani’s Little Nuskha

I was never one to have a role model. Nor did any singular event influence my life (that kind of drama only happens to Abhishek Bachchan, whose life changes if he discovers the complex mechanism of moving his limbs while being able to talk on the mobile phone at the same time!) So, I am not gonna say that my grandmother told me the story of how she was the best wife the world had seen and all of Ekta Kapoor’s good wives’ characters were based on her (and Jane Jetson and Wilma Flintstone also) and how that changed my life and now I am the next successor to that great legacy. Because if she had told me that story, then clearly it had no influence whatsoever on me (really – ask my husband, he’ll tell you).
But she did tell me a bunch of little stories about the stuff you use in the kitchen. (Why, you ask? Because there was a time I used to cook. Cos I liked it, not cos I was asked to.) Unable to see her granddaughter crying buckets of water because she chopped her finger off accidentally was chopping an onion for the first time, naanisaid, before you chop the onion, put a piece of it in your mouth and chew it. Slowly.
Warning: Do not try this at home/mountains/wilderness/wherever. People will eat your food, but will stay away from you till the time you have washed your mouth seven times with mouthwash, hopped on one leg around a sacred tree, and jiggled your hips to please the dental gods.
It may have been placebo, but for me, granny’s tip worked!
Note: It may have been placebo, because granny had some funny (borderline superstitious) ideas about some food and ingredients. She once told me that if I ate a lot of raw coconut, it’d rain on my wedding day. Partially, because I did not believe her and partially because I wanted it to rain on my wedding day (please look at the name of my blog for further details) I ate coconut whenever she grated it. Despite my best efforts, I got married on a very hot December day. No, the wedding was not in Australia; it was in Kerala. December had defected to a different party that year, that’s all.
Placebo or not, naani’s little nuskha worked for me. When it stopped working, people suggested the fancier and less stinky option – chewing gum (to be chewed while cutting onions. Do not swallow (if you did not already know that, please do not use sharp objects like knives or nail-cutters)). But for a long time I could happily chop onions without ganga and jamuna baho-fying from my innocent (damn right, they are), contact lens waale,short-sighted eyes because I traded tears for a stinky mouth… 😀

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22 thoughts on “Naani’s Little Nuskha

  1. Midnight scribbles March 25, 2014 / 4:26 AM

    Lol I usually just place the onions in the freezer for fifteen minutes 😀
    Can't imagine chewing on onions, while cutting. Double torture!


  2. Soumya March 25, 2014 / 4:55 AM

    That's a nice tip I must say. Chewing gum helps for sure, so it wins hands down when against a stinky mouth 😀

    My granny used to say that eating raw rice will cause rain on my wedding day. I too got married on a super hot day in March. I ate all that raw rice for no reason. Damn it!


  3. Anita March 25, 2014 / 6:11 AM

    Nice Nushka, Sreesha. 🙂
    I know that if we put the onions in water before chopping them, then there will be no tears 🙂


  4. Preethi Venugopal March 25, 2014 / 10:15 AM

    I just put the onions in fridge for 5- 10 minutes before cutting… Your granny's method is quite new to me… I don't like the taste of raw onions other wise i would have tested it..:P


  5. Sreesha Divakaran March 25, 2014 / 4:30 PM

    Yeah see, why did we even take the effort! A rain dance might've been a better idea!


  6. Sreesha Divakaran March 25, 2014 / 4:32 PM

    Yeah I just pretend that I was eating chaat and a particularly large piece of onion just got into my mouth somehow 😛 And then I chew it. I prefer gum these days though..


  7. Midnight scribbles March 25, 2014 / 6:15 PM

    But be sure to chop em real quick after that! 😀

    Ps if you are successful in finding some new tips please do share the love 😀


  8. CRD March 26, 2014 / 7:36 PM

    Does this nuskha work for someone who's not cutting onions too? I simply run miles away from the kitchen whenever my wife's cutting onions. Simply can not control my behti ganga.


    Do drop by mine


  9. Enchantress March 26, 2014 / 8:49 PM

    Kadai lick karne se b wedding pe barish hoti hai :p I never licked but it did rain


  10. Kokila Gupta March 27, 2014 / 5:34 AM

    New tips I don't know but I liked your post, your writing style – short and pert, and your Nani very much…immensely 🙂 hoping to see more of all 🙂 and yes..Nice Blog name …


  11. Sreesha Divakaran March 27, 2014 / 5:39 PM

    Haha, I never licked the kadhai, but as a kid, I used to lick the vessel in which my mom used to prepare maggi 😀


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