December is a cruel month. It’s bloody cold, even in the south, though the rest of the country imagines the deserts of Africa when they hear “south”. But this is Bangalore we’re talking about. Bangalore is the poor and wannabe cousin of certain western cities where it’s snowing this time of the year, and out of wannabe-ness, Bangalore is trying really hard to be as cold as possible.
December reminds you yet again that Santa does not exist, that another year has been wasted, that you’re alive and you still don’t know why. This year, to add to the list of catastrophes, Uday Chopra graced (graced?) the silver screen again in a movie aptly titled Doom..err, Dhoom (please excuse the typos). Another reason why December is cruel is that everyone begins to ask you one terrible, unanswerable, I-am-contemplating-suicide-cos-I-don’t-want=another-person-asking-me-this question, “So… what’s your plan for New Year’s?”
To all those who keep asking this question, do you really think I am the type of person who goes partying, dancing wildly, getting wasted and not remembering any of that shit the next evening when I finally wake up from my hangover? Really? Aww, you think my life’s that awesome? *cries till eyes threaten to fall out of sockets*
Think of the million times you asked me every Friday, “What plans for weekend?” and every Monday, when I replied, “No, I just slept.” (And when I said “slept”, I meant literally slept and not anything that can have glorious interpretations.) New Year’s eve for me is exactly that, multiplied by the number of weekends in a year.
So, to the next person who’s gonna ask me “So… (undertones of *wink* *wink*) what’s your plan for New Year’s?” – I am gonna sleep. On a pillow that’s still stiff from the salt of my poor tears that fell earlier when you thought I actually had other plans, and I wished you were right!
Anyone not wildly partying, and taking the time to read this – what are your plans?