I don’t believe in your theory of naughty and nice
I was never naughty, nor was I ever nice,
And yet you have always given me presents,
So you too think naughty and nice is just a pretense
This year, give me the courage to be less outspoken
But still keep me honest.
And if you plan on keeping me outspoken
Then give me the brains to let me know where I should keep my mouth shut
I am tired of hearing shocked tut-tuts
I wish you would teach everyone
That being happy is better than being right
Because even you don’t believe in naughty and nice
You just want everyone to be happy and that
Is what everyone must want for themselves
I don’t wanna lose weight cos I am tired of trying.
So whatever you bring me
Let it not be a weighing machine
Give me the brains to understand
That I am perfect as I am!
Does Mrs Claus get angry when you leave her alone on Christmas?
I am sure she must be used to it by now,
But if she gets mad at you, how do you make her smile again?
How do you coax and cajole her?
Teach me your tricks that ensure marital bliss!
And last, but not the least, Dear Santa,
May my backward ass country be more accepting
Change laws that were written aeons ago
Cos God is not upset nor does he remember nor does he care!
He has better things to do. Clearly!
Gift my country’s 1.237 billion people their right to choose.
Woah that’s a big number, I swear it’s true!
Say “Hi” to Mrs Claus for me!
Kisses to you both! Muahh!