…we only learn how to behave in public.”
Today, I was sitting next to this wavy-haired girl in the bus. She was listening to some song on her BlackBerry-cum-music player (cum-calendar-cum-alarm clock-cum-watch etc., but they are not relevant to this story). It must have been a particularly good song, cos suddenly, sitting right there in the seat, her head went like – left, right, left, right, swirl! Normal people see something of the sort, and go “What the hell!” But me – insanity-stricken as I am – admire people with similar traits! I looked at her, and when she caught my gaze, I gave her an appreciative smile. At least what I thought was an appreciative smile. My smile always convinces people that I am mocking them, even though I don’t mean to. It’s a half smile, half sneer, half scowl, half indistinguishable lopsided facial expression. It’s unfortunate; I look rudely sarcastic without meaning to. So, our poor little girl with her multipurpose phone gave me a little stink eye and sat still as a rock in her seat. “Oh, come on! That was great.” is what I should’ve said. But instead I kept quiet.
Now why are we, as adults, so uptight? No, we don’t learn how to behave in public, we die inside, a little, preparing for the big day (you know, when you actually die…) We don’t find wonders in little things. I remember a time when I could not stand in a place, without dancing a little bit. It came so naturally to me, that I did not realize how crazy that actually looked to “normal” people. Similarly, there’s this guy in my office, who cannot walk without pretending he has a guitar in his hand (we fondly call him air-guitar :P). Then there are those who sneer upon those of us, who have these little idiosyncrasies…
Every adult realizes this, and is secretly jealous of the care-free, childish “adult”. They all have the thought “Why can’t I do that?” running through their minds. Uptight. That is all we are. Too afraid to try something fun, out of fear of making a fool of ourselves. But I consider myself to be somewhat of an expert in the making-a-fool-of-oneself field. Call me immodest, but I have done it successfully so many times, that I am actually proud of my abilities now! I am known to laugh at moments of absolute seriousness, I am known to proclaim boisterous facts about myself (this one time, I shouted “I am so awesome” in response to a friend’s query; a passing stranger gave me a most incredulous look that said “Are you insane” on such a high degree! But, I did give him a good laugh, so good deed of the day, I guess!) But I have been clobbered a lot for my expertise behavior.
Instead, I wish, all of us could let go a little bit. Just a little. Maybe go to a jungle gym and climb the monkey bars or go down the slide. Take the swing as high as it would go. Dance a little in the office elevator. Sing – outside the bathroom, maybe in the middle of the cafeteria. Play a goddamn unreal guitar in the air!
Cos laughing a little, and getting a little laughed at, is never injurious to health…